#20- FACT OR FICTION

In Psychology, we had the opportunity to debate whether near-death experiences are real or just a figment of the imagination! Very interesting stuff!

By definition, a near-death experience is “an altered state of consciousness” and is often accompanied by “out-of-body experiences, light-at-the-end-of-a-tunnel perceptions, and a state of calmness.” Among the millions who have claimed to have had such experiences, most are people that are recovering after experiencing “cardiac arrest or some other life-threatening condition” (Cacioppo & Freberg, 2015). There are many people who think near-death experiences are simply errors of brain function. Others believe that near-death experiences are illusions; many believe that they are just figments of the imagination. The debate is interesting because frankly, it is nearly impossible to test and prove. It is hard to determine if somebody is telling the truth, or if they were simply duped due to an extreme experience and a lapse in their brain function. Near-death experiences are rare, but truly do occur in certain situations. They are unique experiences that can occur in extreme or tense medical circumstances, and allow people to experience peace and calmness in those crucial moments.

These rare experiences can and do occur in some medical situations; while giving birth to my little sister Lindsey, my mom had what is known as a near-death experience. She had only been in the hospital for about half an hour, but everything was moving very fast, and as often is the case with childbirths, the situation was intense. In this case, everything was moving too fast; many doctors and nurses were frantically working to make sure that everything went smoothly. My mom, who is a self-proclaimed worrywart, was having a hard time. Naturally, she was worried about her own well-being, but even more worried about the health of her baby. My mom says that in a certain moment, she all of a sudden felt like she was having an out-of-body experience. She did experience the state of calmness, and says that it was a good feeling; she did not feel panicky or scared. She also explains that she briefly had the light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel perception, and she felt that she was simply observing the situation. In that moment, she was in the middle of several doctors and nurses, and was in the long process of giving birth to her fourth child. However, for several seconds, she felt that she was not the one living it; she felt as though she was only observing all the happenings from a bird’s-eye view. Before long, she returned to her normal state of consciousness, and became perfectly aware of the situation that she was in. Once she returned to her normal state of consciousness, she felt completely unaffected by the unique experience that she had. Now, eighteen years later, she remembers it vividly, and still talks about the unique feeling of calmness that she felt. For her, it serves as a spiritual experience, and something that she learned from (J. Welch, personal communication, October 30, 2015).

As a member of the Church, I believe that the veil separating us and those who have passed away is thin. In many cases, people who have had near-death experiences claim to have seen deceased friends and relatives, as well as feelings of comfort and tranquility. Looking at these experiences with a spiritual perspective, it is very reasonable to say that these reports are accurate: family members and friends who have passed on can offer comfort and strength to their loved ones who are in the midst of a medical emergency. Though it is something that science can’t prove, I believe that family members who have passed away can and do have a part in these near-death experiences that benefit their descendants in need.

Looking at it through the scientific scope, there is still some evidence that indicates that these experiences are real. With modern-day medical technology, there are many procedures that help people to survive cardiac arrest and practically bring people back to life. There are many similarities among the recorded cases of near-death experiences, suggesting that these reviving medical procedures cause consistent responses in the brain (Cacioppo & Freberg, 2015). Knowing that these brain responses are basically uniform, it is reasonable to believe that these reported experiences are accurate. In fact, animals show an increase in consciousness during cardiac arrest. Many people believe that near-death experiences are only figments of the imagination. This research suggests otherwise; it’s possible that people actually have higher levels of consciousness during these intense and extreme moments (Cacioppo & Freberg, 2015).

As I previously stated, it is very hard to prove that near-death experiences are or are not real. However, scientific evidence suggests that these wild experiences reported by millions of people are real. Additionally, my testimony indicates to me that these experiences are real and occur in response to people in extreme need.

#19- EVALUATIVE CONCLUSION

Writing 150 has been a great class for me. I didn't expect much out of the class when the semester started, but it has turned out to be one of my favorite classes. I have learned several useful skills that will definitely help me throughout the rest of my life with different types of writing I will have to do. I think this class has helped me to be more well-rounded in my writing; we have learned how to write in several different genres.
Also, this class has helped me learn how to organize my papers and write strong thesis statements. I have learned how to make solid outlines of my papers, do effective research, and include solid analysis in the body paragraphs. These are skills that I will definitely use for almost every single paper I ever write.
Another thing I liked about this class was that it was fun. We wrote a response paper about an exhibit in the Museum of Art, and we also had the opportunity to do a Restaurant Review. These were fun assignments that allowed me to make friends in the class and enjoy the writing experience. Also, with the research paper, I was able to learn TONS of new things about adoption, which is something very relevant and personal to me. All of the assignments we had helped me in different ways, and interested me in unique ways. I didn't keep up very consistently with this blog, but what we have done in class has inspired me to do another blog (not school related) of my own! I enjoy keeping up with it and writing about many different topics. For these reasons, I would definitely say that this class has helped me to branch out into new things and be a better writer. Good stuff!

#18- CROSSROADS OF DECISION

We make thousands of decisions every day. We are constantly choosing what to think about, what to eat, what to do, what to wear, what to say, and when to do all of these things. Throughout childhood, we are taught that the choices we make are important. While it is true that we make thousands of choices, and that many of these are important, there is one question that remains unanswered: why do we do what we do? If we choose to eat an ice cream cone, is it a simple and independent decision, or are there factors that essentially make the choice for us? For centuries, psychologists and philosophers have asked this question. Due to the countless circumstances that make up who we are, it is likely impossible to know for certain if free will truly exists. Free will is the ability to act at one’s discretion. Free will implies that we make our own choices, which are independent of other people or factors. The innumerable amount of biological, environmental, and personal factors ultimately take away our free will, and every decision that we make is a product of one of these factors.

            We are greatly affected by genetics. Not only do we inherit physical characteristics or tendencies from our parents, but also neurological and internal traits. As we discussed in class, Sigmund Freud believed that our behavior was the result of unconscious desires, which could be genetics. Scientists have run studies that indicate that genes can affect many aspects of our lives, including political views, temperament, religion, and other things. This genetic inheritance affects us in many ways. It affects how we view people and who we associate ourselves with. Another biological factor that hugely affects our decision-making process is our brain. Ben Libet, in 1985, experimented this by analyzing people's brains as they made basic arm movements. He found that many times, people’s brains had already made the signals to move the arm before the person was even aware of it. He argued that our brain makes its own decisions before we know about it (Schwartz).

            Another factor that greatly influences many decisions we make is our environment. As we studied in class, B.F. Skinner believed that all of our behavior can be calculated, especially by our environment (Schwartz). Besides genetics, our family influences us in many other ways. If a child is born with two parents who graduated from college, that child will likely have a similar goal from a young age, and make life decisions accordingly. Similarly, if a child is born to a one-parent family in poverty, they are likely to make certain decisions as a result. Parents greatly affect how kids think about their life in the future. Rules that parents give to their kids cause many kids to act in different ways. Some teenagers might choose to do certain things simply because their parents told them not to. Others may make decisions to obey their parents purely out of fear. Additionally, everyone cares about social status. This affects us all, in different ways. Some people choose what to wear or what music to listen to based off what is trendy, and what will make them popular. Many people choose not to voice their opinion out of fear that they might offend somebody. Most people may not realize that these factors are literally making their decisions; these factors influence people so much that they don’t consciously make independent decisions.

            When I was 14, I played on my high school basketball team, and I loved being involved. We had a successful team, and as a result, I enjoyed feeling popular at school. My drive to fit in and be popular led me to start hanging out with people that I would not have otherwise hung out with. Consequently, I began to do things that I thought I would never do. I started treating people differently, and I obsessed over my social life. One time, I told one of my good friends about a party I planned on going to that weekend. He asked me, “Will, do you actually want to go to that?” I shrugged off the question initially. Then, later, I realized that I did not want to go to that party. I evaluated my life and realized that I was not even making my own decisions-I was simply going along with whatever was going on around me.

            Another factor that greatly influences many decisions is religion. Religion is especially important because it reflects people’s innermost desires and moral values. Religion can affect people’s decisions in a myriad of ways. Almost always, a person’s religion is determined by their parents, and how they were raised. Many people never make a conscious decision to be Catholic, Baptist, or even Mormon. Even if people do choose what church to go to, that decision is often based off of the words of another person, or what is socially popular. Many teenagers are drawn to churches because of rock concerts and other elegant activities. There are many people who are religious, and make choices to obey what they are taught out of fear of punishment. This shows yet another motive that prevents people from making their own decision. Religion, one of life’s very important decisions, is affected by outside factors.

            There are thousands of decisions that we constantly have to make in our lives, and thousands of factors that can influence every single one. As humans, we consider these factors heavily, and let them affect us in our decision-making process. These factors take away our free will, and allow the famous question to continue being relevant: why do we do what we do?

#17- ETERNAL FAMILY

This is something that I wrote several months ago, on the day that my family got sealed. It was one of the most memorable days of my life, and this story is about the whole day as I remember it.

Today I was thinking about how blessed I am to be a part of such a big family. Yesterday was one of the most important and most memorable days ever. We went to Lubbock to have Sophie sealed to us for time and all eternity. This was just a great day, but, as anticipated, there were some road blocks along the way. First of all, it was quite the challenge to get all of us ready and on the same page in the temple. Regan, Monica, Lindsey and I all showed up later than the rest of the family, so we had some trouble finding each other once we showed up. Finally, we all got dressed in our white temple clothes and sat in the waiting room together. Several friends were there, such as the Vander Does family, Sister Quisenberry, the Elliotts, the Witkowzkis, and Sophie’s primary teacher, Sister Powell.  They all left to go to the sealing room and we were left, the seven siblings, waiting. This is the moment that I looked around and started feeling emotional. I love all my brothers and sisters, and it was a great moment to share together. Then, we all went to the sealing room, where we saw mom and dad, waiting for us. Patriarch Rindlisbacher, who gave me my Patriarchal Blessing, was the sealer. He is a spiritual giant, and just a great man. I look up to him a lot. He spoke several minutes about the significance of the sealing ordinance, the priesthood power, and the symbolism in the temple. I have always loved the light fixtures in the temple, and he pointed out that each little piece that makes up the chandelier has a little beehive on it. He explained that this could symbolize the effort that we all put in as a family to have success and to achieve our goal of having an eternal family. He also talked about how adopting Sophie was always part of Heavenly Father’s plan for our family. I was never against the adoption when my parents were going through the process, but at the same time, I didn’t understand the hand of the Lord in their decision.  Brother Rindlisbacher explained that both our ancestors, and Sophie’s ancestors, were part of preparing all of us, and Sophie, for the adoption. He also said, “There are many family members, both seen and unseen, that are a part of this today.”(Paraphrasing) He also reminded me of when I received my Patriarchal Blessing, and how I felt that day that Grandpa Welch was present. I felt the same thing yesterday, and it was a very touching and spiritual moment for me. I am so grateful for my ancestors, and my immediate family. He gave us the opportunity to stand, all together, in front of the mirror. He explained that as we look at ourselves in the mirror, all we can see is our own reflection. However, as we turn and look at each other’s reflections, we can see many reflections that give us a small glimpse of what eternity will be like. I was standing in the middle of everyone, and I tried to imagine what it will be like to stand all together in God’s presence. One last thing: just before performing the ordinance, which was actually quite short, he explained the significance of the sealing power. The sealing power is greater than the legal power that was part of the adoption, and, more importantly, the sealing power is even greater than the power of genetics. Now, Sophie is literally a part of our family. I almost feel like she has the same blood, and the same genes that I have. I have a hunch that her ancestors, and our ancestors, know each other, and have been a huge part of this whole process. I think that Sophie will be able to appreciate that relationship she has with her Chinese ancestors as well. Afterwards, we took pictures, which, in true Welch fashion, was a total nightmare. We had to get changed and on our way, but, for a minute, I was able to sit in the Celestial Room with Regan. It was all such a good experience, and I remember thinking, while Patriarch Rindlisbacher was talking, that it truly is worth any sacrifice to live worthily to make it to the temple. It’s the best place on earth.

Anyway, after all this was over, we went to have lunch together at Five Guys, and we enjoyed burgers and fries. On the trip back, Mom called me to inform us that one of their tires had blown out, and that they had stopped on the side of the road. Fortunately, we saw them, about two minutes later, stopped on the side of the road. Regan, Dad, Jared, and I changed the tire, and off we were again… All of this was a total hassle, because we were trying to rush back and help Regan and Monica move into their house. Honestly, the rest of the day is kind of a blur to me. It involved a lot of packing, unpacking, loading, unloading, running, scrambling, cars breaking down, etc. Looking back on the day, there was a lot that went wrong. It was very unlucky to have two cars to break down in one day. It was a bad coincidence that caused us to have this big, busy day in the first place! I felt like there was definitely things to be negative about. However, as I think with a spiritual perspective, there is SO much more to be positive about. We are sealed, by priesthood power, for time and all eternity. No unlucky circumstance could ever break us apart. My family is bonded, spiritually, emotionally, and eternally. They are my best friends and the most important people to me. I feel grateful today for the blessings of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

#16- COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

The brother of Jared, a man of great faith, needed a way to provide light in the vessels that his people would use to cross the sea. He made sixteen small stones out of a rock, and asked for the Lord to stretch forth His hand and light the stones with His finger. The brother of Jared expressed his great faith by saying, in Ether 3:5, “Behold, O Lord, thou canst do this. We know that thou art able to show forth great power, which looks small unto the understanding of men.” This scripture has taught me how to recognize the Lord’s hand in my life, and has helped me to be humble and grateful.

In my mission, I had the privilege of opening a new area, in a place that hadn’t seen missionaries in many years. There were very few members, and we struggled mightily to hold good church meetings and find people to teach. One night, my companion and I felt depressed, and we felt like we weren’t accomplishing anything. We had fasted, prayed, and continued working, without results. On this particular night, we prayed to the Lord and asked for help to see His hand in our lives, and in our area. We decided to start taking five minutes after daily planning each night to count the blessings and miracles that we had seen during the day. We did this for almost three months together, and I did it with other companions throughout my mission. When we learned to recognize the miracles that the Lord was blessing us with, we felt joy in being part of the Lord’s work, even though the results we were seeing didn’t immediately change.

I have learned that sometimes the Lord’s power “looks small unto the understanding of men.” My mission president taught me that in order to receive answers from the Lord, we must have enough faith to ask, and enough faith to receive. In times of trial, we instinctively turn to the Lord and ask in faith. Sometimes answers don’t come in the way we expect them to. In these cases, we must have enough faith to receive and recognize the Lord’s hand, which is constantly a part of our lives. Elder Gene R. Cook taught that in these moments, we must “double our faith, lest we lose it.”

I know that the Lord is constantly exercising His power to bless us, and He knows our desires and our needs. Sometimes, we do not understand His timing or His methods, and we don’t always recognize His hand in our lives. When I am in the midst of trials, and His power “seems small unto my understanding”, I count my blessings. I know that all that I have and all that I am is thanks to His power. I know that as we follow the example of the brother of Jared, and ask the Lord in faith, He will exercise His power in response to our faith and our prayers.

#15- MOVING MOUNTAINS

In Matthew 17, the Savior teaches that if we have “faith as a grain of a mustard seed,” we can move mountains. Also, in many places in the scriptures, we are taught that if we ask in faith, we shall receive. Christ healed people according to their faith. Throughout my life, I have always read these famous scriptures, and I always thought, “If I have faith, I will receive.” Also, there have been experiences in my life when I have felt that my faith has failed me. I have thought, “Well I had faith that I would get the job, but I didn’t get it.” Because of these experiences, I began to question whether I actually understood the concept of faith. Moroni, quoting Jesus Christ, says in Moroni 7:33: “If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me.” When I read this scripture, I gained a whole new perspective of faith. Faith does not mean that we will receive everything we desire, but it does give us power to act.

            While serving my mission in Argentina, I was sent to a poor little town. Most of the people lived outside of town, on orchards. My companion and I walked countless miles to different orchards trying to find people to teach. One day, we were blessed to find two kids, Luis and Natalia, who were very interested in the Gospel. They embraced the Gospel, and began attending church. They desired to be baptized. Each time we went to teach them, we walked about four miles to arrive, and four to return. On one P-Day, all the missionaries in the zone got together to play basketball. After months of playing soccer exclusively, I was excited to play. Within minutes, I jumped, and landed awkwardly. Immediately, my foot swelled up and I could barely walk. I was forced to go to the doctor, where they informed me that the ligaments and tendons in my foot were damaged. I would have to wear a big boot up to my knee for four weeks. When I received the news, I immediately thought of Luis and Natalia, who were one week away from their baptism.  I questioned whether I would be able to keep walking all the way out to their house to help them finish preparing for baptism. They were seeking permission from their parents to join the church, and I wanted to magnify my calling and help them. Their parents did not give their permission at first. I prayed and prayed, desiring the physical strength to be able to walk, and the spiritual strength to be able to help them overcome their challenges. With the Lord’s help, I was able to walk those eight miles each day to go visit them, as well as to fulfill the other commitments that we had with other people. Luis and Natalia were able to get baptized on the scheduled date.

            When I read this scripture in Moroni, I was able to recognize for the first time the power of my faith in this situation. I didn’t receive the blessing I desired just because I had faith. I don’t think the Lord works that way. As the scripture says, He gives us power “to do” anything that is “expedient in Him.” We still have to act; our faith does not move mountains while we sit on the couch and watch. But, I know that in this instance, the Lord gave me the strength that I needed in order to do what was needed.

            I know that this is an important principle of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. If we have faith in Jesus Christ, He will give us the power to go out and do whatever he asks of us. 

#14- GOD IS FAITHFUL

In the Book of Mosiah, Alma heard the words of Abinadi, and was converted to the Gospel. He escaped from King Noah and his priests, and began teaching people in the wilderness. Amulon, the leader of King Noah’s wicked priests, began to persecute Alma and his people. He forbade them from praying, and told them that if they tried to pray, that they would be put to death. In spite of persecution, Alma and his people had faith, and continued to pray in their hearts. The Lord, after seeing their faith, reached out and comforted them. He said, in Mosiah 24:14: “And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.” The Lord did not promise to take away all of their trials, but He did promise that they would be able to overcome them. In verse 15, it says that Alma and his people were able to “bear up their burdens with ease.”

I have witnessed in my own life that the Lord truly does work this way. At times in my life, I have felt overwhelmed and bogged down in the midst of trials and sadness. The Lord has never taken away all of my grief instantly; however, He has always given me enough strength to keep moving forward. Sometimes, I have desired and expected certain blessings from the Lord, but I have seen that He has always blessed me with what I truly needed. Several years ago, my older brother fell into a life full of sin. He had always been my role model, and it was very hard for me to watch his struggles. As a result, I felt a lot of tension within my own family, and our family unity, little by little, disappeared. On top of that, I was dealing with problems at school, and medical problems. I missed several weeks of school due to surgery. I felt totally alone—I didn’t have any friends, I wasn’t doing well in school, and I was worried about my health. I felt that I had lost my older brother, who was my best friend. I prayed constantly to the Lord, begging for help. I didn’t understand why all of that was happening to me. I felt bitter. Soon, I lost patience and began to feel that the Lord had abandoned me. Now, years later, I realize how blessed I was in that time of my life. The Lord helped my brother to get back on the right path, I overcame my medical problems, and recovered from surgery. Now, through these trials, my family is closer than ever. At the time, I wanted the Lord to solve my problems and take my pain away. When He didn’t, I instinctively felt abandoned. Now, I understand that He was there every step of the way. He blessed me with enough patience and strength to overcome those trials. Looking back on it, those trials seem small to me. He has led me to much greater things.

            I know that the Lord always gives us enough strength to press forward. Just as Paul says in his letter to the Corinthians, the Lord will never give us a trial that we can’t overcome. Trials will come, but with the Lord’s help, we will be able to overcome them and be even stronger as a result.

#13- AN ANCHOR OF THE SOUL

As you know, the world suffered a horrible tragedy in Paris.  A terrorist attack. As I have read about this attack, and watched footage of what happened, I can’t help but have a nasty pit in my stomach. It’s sickening. ISIS, the terrorist group that accepts responsibility for this destruction, attacked six different locations in Paris at the same time. 129 people have been pronounced dead, and 352 wounded. Of those 352, at least 99 are in very serious condition.

I don’t want to blame the French President, Obama, or anybody else for these attacks. Maybe that’s our problem in society. It’s easy to point fingers. It’s easy to be bitter. Members of ISIS, while arguing with French police, claimed that it was France’s fault that they were being attacked (France has tried to crack down in Syria).

This is just sickening to me. ISIS was simply showing their power, and sending a message. They don’t care about hiding. They don’t care about killing. They chose a major world city, and attacked it in a way that caused us to feel pain a hemisphere away.

I have been thinking a lot about what happened, and it’s sad to think about what our world has come to. It’s sad to realize that it’s headed in the wrong direction. This weekend, I kept asking myself: How long will it be before something happens that affects me directly? It’s starting to seem like a matter of time.

In spite of all the conflicts of our day, my faith in Jesus Christ gives me hope for the future. I read a story a while back about a teenage girl with cancer. Her family was a strong and faithful Christian family. They believed that through their faith and prayers, their daughter would be healed. Sadly, she passed away. However, her father’s words really touched my heart. He said, “Our family’s faith is in Jesus Christ and is not dependent on outcomes.”

I too, have faith in Jesus Christ, no matter what happens in the world. Maybe there will be more attacks, wars, and conflicts. It is sad, and it does hurt. I pray for those who have been affected by the sad events that have happened thus far. Although I believe it’s okay to mourn, I also believe that we should all keep looking toward the future with a faith-based perspective—no matter what happens.

#12- LIFE LESSONS FROM WRITING 150

While I was preparing my outline and oral presentation for the final, I learned some really interesting things about how to appeal to an audience. I have never really thought about my audience when I write; I always just write to try to get a good grade. However, I have learned that all of our writing has an audience, and that appealing to our audience is the most important thing we can do in our writing. That's the whole reason that we learn about ethos, logos, and pathos. We must use different writing tools to appeal our audience in different ways, depending on who we are addressing. For example, we are used to writing with lots of detail and description in order to help the reader understand and visualize what we are saying. This was especially true when we wrote the personal narrative. However, if we were writing a business proposition to a group of people in a corporation, we would have to write in a completely different way. That writing would have to be as concise and simple as possible, while still conveying the message effectively. It can be tricky to identify who our audience is, exactly. It is definitely worth spending time to think about though, because it makes a huge difference in how our reader responds to our writing. This is also an important principle in the business world. Companies must know their audience in order to effectively design their products and advertise. If they don't know what their focus group is, they won't be successful. Writing is an effective way to learn these important life lessons!

#11- NARRATIVE!!

Rescuing a Deer in the Headlights

Two dribbles left, stop on a dime, elevate, and flick the wrist. Swish. There was no sound sweeter than the sound of the net. I could repeat this process in my sleep. I remained stone-faced as I back pedaled down the court. I ignored my teammates that were congratulating me−there would be time to celebrate after the game. Nothing could break my laser-like focus until we had won the game. I squatted down in my defensive stance and stuck to the opposing player like glue. A basket by the opposing team would mean a loss. I looked across the court and saw a player from the opposing team jump and release a three-point shot. I was seeing the ball spin in slow motion as I ran toward the basket to rebound the ball in case of a miss. I jumped and snatched the ball as it grazed off the rim. My eyes frantically searched the court for an open teammate as I dribbled down the court.

            I have to take this shot. All night I have felt like I’m shooting a golf ball into the ocean, I just know I’ll make it.

            Just as I was debating where I would take the final shot from, Jake, one of my teammates, broke free from the guy defending him, and darted toward the basket. Instinctively, I fired the pass. Once again, everything moved in slow motion in my eyes−Jake was preparing to jump for the pass, defenders were closing in, and I wasn’t sure if the pass would arrive in time. Next thing I knew, I was watching the ball drop through the bottom of the net as the buzzer sounded. I pumped my fist and ran toward Jake to celebrate our game-winning connection. Suddenly I heard a loud thud, and next thing I knew, Jake was knocked flat on his back. Several quorum members ran over to see if he was okay; he was conscious but almost completely unresponsive.

            “What happened?” someone asked. They weren’t the only ones feeling confused.

            “I got mad when we lost and I threw the ball off the wall. I didn’t realize it was going to bounce off like that, I swear.” Nobody was surprised to hear that story from Thomas, who frequently lost his temper. Thomas ran to grab Jake some water, clearly feeling responsible for the accident. We all tried to help Jake stand up and get oriented. Nobody knew what the problem was, but we could all tell that he didn’t look good−he sure didn’t look so pale and blank in church that Sunday.

            Minutes passed, and I frantically asked Jake if he was okay, and if I could do anything to help. After many attempts, I realized that he was content ignoring me completely.

            Finally, he answered, “Will, do you still want to stay the night at my house?”

            “Yeah, of course. You know I don’t want to go back home this weekend. My parents won’t leave me alone. Why do you ask?”

            “Do you think you could drive me home?” I instantly felt a pit in my stomach as he finished his sentence. I had never driven a car before. I can’t really say no after I’ve just told him fifty times that I will do anything to help.

            “I don’t have my license,” I squeaked out reluctantly. No. You can’t let him down. Driving can’t be that bad anyway, and there’s barely any traffic this late at night.

            “Actually, you know what? Yeah. Let’s go.” I stuck out my arm to offer him support as we exited the chapel and headed to his car. Wow! I’m about to drive!

            We jumped in his car, and I made a few circles around the parking lot while Jake laid quietly in the passenger seat. This isn’t as bad as I thought. He only lives about five minutes away. This will be over in no time!

Just as I was about to pull out of the parking lot and into the real world of driving, I hesitated. Should I call my parents? They’ll kill me if they find out about this. No. Never mind that. They’re too controlling anyway. I got this.

            I turned the wheel and stepped on the gas. Left, right, left again. I looked all around me constantly, fearing the possibilities of getting in an accident. I can’t get caught. I checked on Jake periodically, who was squirming in the passenger seat. Is it a concussion? Wait! Where am I going?

            “Jake!” I screamed as we passed through the intersection. “Where do I turn?”

            “Geez, chill. I’ll tell you when we get there.” I couldn’t believe how calm Jake was, considering the intense consequences at stake. Does he understand what I’m getting myself into right now? Should I be in the right lane? My seat belt isn’t on! What’s the speed limit here? I can’t get pulled over, or Mom and Dad will kill me.

            “Turn!” Jake yelled, just as we approached his street. Instinctively, I jerked the wheel, and tried to slam the brakes as I did so. I looked to my right and closed my eyes instantly, lifting my arms to protect my head as I saw two headlights collide with the car. I kept my eyes sealed shut as we were thrashed up, down, and around for the next several seconds.

            When I finally mustered the courage to open my eyes, I stared into the windshield, which was now just a blank space with shards of glass around the edges. I looked over at Jake helplessly, and he stared back at me with the same expression. This must be a dream. No way. Wake up, Will. WAKE UP! Wait, what about the car that hit us?

            I wiggled my way out the window, and extended my hand to help Jake get out of the car. We both ran to check on the passengers of the car with those two headlights that would forever be etched into my memory. As I turned to look back at Jake’s car, tears came to my eyes uncontrollably as shock and trauma overwhelmed me. The car was on its side, and we had rolled multiple times before coming to a stop. Once again, I felt a pit in my stomach as we approached the other car, which was basically crunched in half.

            Fortunately, the other car was empty, except for the driver, who was not injured in the accident. He simply nodded his head as Jake and I sincerely apologized repeatedly.

            “Will, we have to call our parents,” Jake said frankly. No. I will call the Police, I will call anybody in the world−not my parents. My hand trembled as I dialed our home phone number.

            “Hello?” I broke down as I heard Lindsey’s voice. She was just twelve years old at the time, and it hurt me to hear her innocent voice. I was terrified of telling my parents.

            “Hey Lindsey, I’m in some trouble. There’s been an accident. Could I talk to Dad, please?” I was shaking uncontrollably as I finished my request. Once again, tears filled my eyes as I heard Lindsey relay to my dad everything that I had just told her.

            “Will, what happened?” he asked calmly. He’s going to hate me. He’s going to scream at me. I’m a failure.

            “Dad, I don’t have much time to explain. I got in a bad car accident and I need you to come pick me up next to Amarillo High. I’m with Jake. We’re both okay but it’s really bad. Oh, and one more thing: I was driving the car. I’m so sorry.” I heard a click as my dad hung up the phone. He didn’t say anything. This is going to be even worse than I thought.

            Several minutes later, the Police and my dad arrived simultaneously. I watched my dad’s eyebrows raise and his jaw drop as he jumped out of the car. I braced myself for what was surely coming as he walked towards me. I was surprised that instead of lecturing me or asking questions, he simply embraced me.

            The next hour was full of questions, apologies, and total despair. Several officers asked me what had happened and why I was driving the car without a license. Many others asked Jake the same questions as several paramedics attended to him. Most of the night was a blur−I really only remember observing my father. He stood there, arms crossed, and never said a word.

            Finally, when the road was cleared, he asked, “Are you ready to go home?”

            “Please get me out of here.” We both chuckled sarcastically as we headed to the car. As we drove home, I broke down again. What if Jake had died? What if the other driver had died or been hurt? That would have been all my fault. I couldn’t stand thinking about potential outcomes that would have been much worse. The drive home felt eternal as I sat there, staring out the window, overcome by guilt and trauma.

            At last, we arrived. I entered the house behind my dad with my chin glued to my chest, avoiding eye contact at all cost. I frantically wiped my eyes, so that nobody would notice my overwhelming emotion. In my peripheral vision, I saw Lindsey, sitting at my mother's side, looking completely pale. I didn't dare turn my head to look at them. I was determined to make it to my bedroom without having to answer any questions. 

"What's wrong with him?" I heard Lindsey ask my dad as I stormed by. 

"Is he okay?" My mom's voice cracked as she squeaked out her simple question in a worried tone.

"Don't worry, he'll explain later." My dad's was the last voice I heard as I shut my bedroom door, and sprawled out on my bed.

"Do you want any company?" I was happy to see my dad. 

"Sure," I responded as I swallowed the lump in my throat and gathered my emotions.

He sat down next to my bed. I kept expecting him to say something−surely he would yell at me or punish me. It was only a matter of time. Minutes passed, and still, nothing. I flipped over and gazed at the wall, too embarrassed to say anything.

I heard the door open and close again, and after waiting a few seconds I flipped back over, thinking that my dad had left. Instead, I turned and saw my parents and Lindsey, kneeling down, staring right back at me.

Embarrassed, and caught by surprise, I flipped back toward the comfort of the wall instantly.

"Will, we're not going anywhere." I couldn't help but cry as I heard my mother's soothing voice. 

"Time for family prayer," said my dad, acting as though nothing had happened.

As I knelt down alongside my parents, there was a palpable feeling of love and concern. What my mom had claimed was true−they weren't going anywhere.

#10- THANKSGIVING

I loved celebrating Thanksgiving this last weekend. It was my first Thanksgiving in three years. In Argentina, they don't celebrate or acknowledge Thanksgiving. Sadly, I honestly forgot about it completely my second year in the mission. This past week, I was reminded of how much I love this holiday. I went to Farmington, New Mexico to spend the week with my brother-in-law's family. It was great because we were able to go mountain biking, hiking, and four wheeling. His family has a bunch of land and it was fun to be able to enjoy the outdoors in nice weather. The highlight of the week though, of course, was Thursday. I forgot how much I love to eat all of that food that is unique to Thanksgiving. I love the turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, rolls, and the pies. I also love Thanksgiving, though, because it gives us the chance to reflect on all our many blessings. Honestly, that's something we should all do all the time, and not just once a year while eating a great meal. I think if we took more time to reflect on our blessings, we would realize that the Lord loves us and blesses us all the time. Sadly, we can't even recognize all our blessings and the Lord's constant hand in our lives. But, it is great to at least have one day out of the year to celebrate the great things we have in our lives, thanks to Him.